I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
