last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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