Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You made out with two different species that night
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
