why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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