FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
