whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
