That's intense
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
