Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
