How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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