Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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