Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
