I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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