doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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