does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Can I color on your dick again?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
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