For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
