i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
