So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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