That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
