If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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