can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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