playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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