I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
