they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
