you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
