Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
