Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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