Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
