Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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