My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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