I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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