People in love make me want to vomit
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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