Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i will never coherently bang her
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
