It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
