this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
