You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
