the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
