I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
