I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
