just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
