i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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