Sponge bath it is.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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