i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
