what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
