Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
