That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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