i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
