I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
