hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
