no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
