You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
