im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
