the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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