I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
