We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
