I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
