You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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